Henry James Brand was born on Saturday, March 26, 2011 at 3:57am! He was 8lbs, 15oz and 20 inches long and had a perfect Apgar score. Here is his birth story!
I started having sparse contractions the previous weekend during the Super Moon. I had been checked at my 38-week appointment and was 3cm dilated and Henry was locked and loaded in a great position. Birth was just around the corner, despite my due date not being until March 31st. Quickly Greg worked with my parents to finish our remodel of the upstairs bathroom, to fix our washer and dryer that kept breaking, to clean and organize to make room for all of that baby stuff that needed to remerge from the basement. I focused on managing my emotions: what would it be like to be a mother of two? And most importantly, how would my most precious Lloyd handle this transition?
On Thursday I had my 39-week appointment. That morning I had definitely felt a little weird. I wasn’t having true contractions, but was spending considerably more time with a tight, uncomfortable belly. My appetite had really picked up and I was seeking out a lot more rest. At the appointment, my nurse midwife told me I was still 3cm and Henry was still in great shape and in a great position.
That night I spent a couple of hours having infrequent contractions, but was thankfully able to get a full night’s sleep. Friday I woke up feeling fine, and drove Lloyd over to my parents’ house for our usual play-date. Mom rubbed my back and Lloyd read me stories as I started to feel that tightness come back. I took a nice nap along with Lloyd that afternoon and by around 5pm I was having consistent but light contractions about every 10 minutes. After Lloyd had a fun play-date with Greg’s parents, we went out to dinner for the last time as a little family of three. I continued to have regular but mild contractions.
We went home and had our normal bedtime routine; soon Lloyd was asleep – none to be the wiser that he’d wake up a big brother! Almost immediately after Lloyd conked out for the night, my contractions started to become more frequent. It was as if my body knew to wait its turn! Soon they were every 5 minutes apart. Although they weren’t too intense, we decided to call the nurse midwives at University of Michigan Hospital and see what they thought. Their answer was pretty darn ambiguous: if we wanted to, I could go to the hospital and would very likely be admitted, or I could continue to labor at home until things progressed further. How soon would Henry come was a complete unknown, and second-births are notoriously unpredictable. Greg and I played a couple rounds of “Should we stay or should we go now?” and we called my parents to come over to our house so we could leave at a moment’s notice. We decided to leave for the hospital when my contractions became too intense to talk through, even though they had slowed down to being every 7 or 10 minutes apart.
We were checked at the hospital around 11:30pm on Friday and I was 4 cm dilated. This was a little discouraging considering I had been at 3cm for the past two weeks! However, we were admitted and just an hour later (after walking around and swaying with Greg) I had gained some progress and was at 5cm. Another hour and a half passed (2am) and I was at 7cm. Things were definitely getting more intense, and the midwife offered to break my water to help move things along, even though I was already making great progress. I voted, “Yes” and she popped my waters. Unfortunately this kick-started some heavy bleeding (from me, not the baby) and I had to be continuously monitored from this point on.
The hospital was incredibly busy that night. Almost every room was full (we landed some sort of luxury suite purely by chance!). Our midwife told us that she was watching two other deliveries at that time, but that there was another midwife over in triage who could come in as back-up if necessary.
There was no doubt about it: soon I was in transition – that last stage of early labor where you can feel weak, shaky, crazy, and weepy. The contractions came very frequently with little to no breaks between. Many times I told Greg and the wonderful nurse we had with us, “I can’t do this anymore. I want to go stop and go home.” It was never a question of getting an epidural or pain-meds, it was a way crazier desire to just call this whole birth thing off and go away. I was tired and laid on my side, burying my head in my pillows as I breathed and moaned through contractions. Greg was absolutely wonderful, quietly telling me to take each contraction one at a time and cooling me down with washcloths. When I thought about it I was able to tell myself, “Yes, I can do one more” and I’d greet the oncoming wave with a deep breath and counted in my head. “In 2, 3, 4, Out 2, 3, 4,” and “this will pass soon” were my internal mantras.
At the perfect moment the nurse suggested I switch positions. I sat upright and put my legs up on a birthing ball placed at the foot of the bed. Almost immediately the contractions changed and I felt an urge to push that could not be ignored.
When I had first checked into the room, I had a nice talk with the midwife and the nurse about my fear of pushing. I had a lot of emotional baggage left over from my birth with Lloyd. To recap quickly, I had to push for about 5 hours to get Lloyd out. He had crowned after about 3 hours, but we were stuck. Eventually the vacuum had to be brought in for the last push. This time around I was scared I’d be in the same position. If I started pushing – when would it end? Would I be able to do it? I asked my birthing team to please be proactive in helping me get into a sensible pushing position and to help me as much as possible. They were wonderfully supportive.
All that being said, I really didn’t need the birthing team to help me with the pushing at all! When I started to feel the urge to push, I let myself push just a little bit with each surge in the contractions. My mantra changed to “push, 2,3,4, breathe 2,3,4,” until the contraction passed. Eventually the nurse caught on to what I was doing (I should have let it known that I was pushing – but in my head I just wanted to let myself start this stage off slowly and quietly and on my terms). She started pressing all sorts of buttons to get the midwife and another nurse into the room. She asked me not to push and I told her, “I can’t!” It was the truth.
At that point I was already experiencing the ring of fire, but instead of feeling scared I felt strong and ready. Another nurse ran into the room just in time for my next contraction. I breathed and pressed slowly just as I had before. The midwife who was working in triage came in just in time to watch me push out the head. Then I SCREAMED and the midwife said, “That’s not doing anything! Don’t waste your energy!” (She was right). With the next contraction I pushed out the shoulders. Then the midwife asked me if I wanted to pull my baby out. Elated I reached between my legs as I pushed out his legs and feet and brought him right up onto my chest.
Henry cried right away. He was healthy and beautiful and was able to stay right on my chest for a long time. Greg sawed through his chord and I pushed out the placenta while examining our son.
Once again, I was bleeding too much. I was placed on an IV and monitored closely, but as I breastfed Henry (who latched on easily and eagerly) and felt my body contract, eventually the bleeding slowed and my iron levels remained normal. I had one minor tear that didn’t warrant stitches.
Lloyd came to meet his baby brother later that morning with my mom and dad. He said, ‘Oh! There’s Baby Henry!” and “Hey – look at that little guy!” and “Baby Henry so cute” absolutely melting my heart. During Lloyd’s first visit, I had other people hold Henry so Lloyd had both of my arms all to his self and could climb on my bed easily. We gave Lloyd a couple of presents to help him celebrate Big Brother Day! Eventually he saw me holding Henry and wanted me to give the baby over to Grammie. When I passed Henry over to my mom, he kissed the baby. All-in-all I felt relieved and confident that Lloyd was going to be okay when they left.
We left the hospital early the next morning (4:30am!) and went home. When Lloyd woke up I went downstairs to play while Greg slept with Henry upstairs. After a while I took Lloyd upstairs and he greeted his baby brother happily! He watched me nurse the baby and didn’t complain the whole day as I held Henry and nursed him frequently. Sometimes he’d ask me to set Henry down so I could be more active, and I either would or would explain why I couldn’t and everyone handled the transition with grace. At bedtime we set Henry down on the floor in Lloyd’s room as Greg and I completed our normal night routine with Lloyd. Every now and then Lloyd would crawl over to Henry and say “Hello” and one time “You so cute!” Lloyd and Henry made it through the day beautifully and Greg and I are incredibly happy with our family of four!
